I just finished book number nine of twenty on my goals list for the year.
I decided to conform and read something everyone else seems to be obsessing over – The fault in our stars by John Green. I must say I liked it and the ambiguous ending made me like it that much more.
“It’s hard as hell to hold onto your dignity when the risen sun is too bright in your losing eyes.” – The fault in our stars, John Green
From now on I’m going to share some of the things that end up in my thought journal. These are things that stick in my head or quotes that I hear and cant get out of my mind until I write them down. So here we go.
Thought number one: Does it bother anyone else that somebody else has your name?
Another thing on my goals list for the year is to read twenty books – today I read my eighth.
Looking for Alaska by John Green; think Perks of Being a Wallflower meets 500 Days of Summer.
The story follows the lonely character of Miles (aka Pudge), and his journey on finding his ‘Great Perhaps.’ He moves school and meets the Colonel and enticing, yet eternally messed up, Alaska Young. Now I’m not going to ruin the story but it is definitely one to add to your reading list. Posing philosophical questions such as ‘how will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?’ and obsessing over the last words of those passed; this read made me ponder how I would answer the questions it raises. In saying that, the book is not a completely morbid journey; the reader feels the highs and lows of Miles as he falls completely in love with Alaska and all her mysteries.
What is our ‘Great Perhaps?’ Does it really exist? And how do we escape our own personal labyrinth?
In the years beginning I promised to keep an update on my quirky to do list. Well here is update number one:
Go to a concert – CHECK!
Last week I saw Australian singer Pete Murray in concert. He is probably one of the bigger names in Australian music and is definitely one of my favourite Australian singers who made it ‘big’ at some point.
But it was not Pete’s amazing voice that blew me away, but instead the opening act of the night- Patrick James. He is an up and coming Sydney sider with raw talent. Acoustic sounds and completely chill music. I loved it! At that point I wouldn’t have even minded if Pete Murray wasn’t doing his show because Patrick James proved to be an amazing talent that seems rare in today’s society. I’m so tired of pop music dominating the charts and auto toned singers claiming the highest of ranks in music, whilst real talent receives no recognition. Anyway, before I start on a tiresome rant on my hate for generic pop music, I will say, do check out Patrick James because he was great!
So great that I bought his CD, now keep in mind I don’t actually own a CD player not even in my car. In my almost nineteen years of existence I’ve only ever bought one other CD.
What is it that makes someone give it all up? To feel like life isn’t worth living anymore?
I’m not sure that I fully understand mental illness. I don’t think I ever will or anyone does until they themselves are in that state of mind. It sounds like a horribly painful thing; for somebody to just end their life without resolution, without a goodbye and to set themselves upon an abyss of an unknown state after life. The thought terrifies me.
It’s amazing how in reflection our lives seem so small, so short and mostly uneventful. What do we achieve in life? Is it fair to call something an achievement if ultimately we all end up the same? Maybe when it comes down to writing our achievements down on a piece of paper they seem small but life is not just about achievements, it’s about the people we cross and the lives we change.
I can’t say I’ve ever had somebody extremely close to me pass away but I have lost many who have known me since a child. Today I lost someone who wasn’t that close to me but he was close enough to leave me with memories. To leave me with a lasting impression of his personality and his smile.
I don’t understand why people take their own lives and it’s incredibly painful and incomprehensible to the families of these people. For such drastic measures to be taken to rid yourself of pain, it must be bad. I just wish that those on the outside, those people who have a friend or a family member going through a tough time, could have a brief insight into their mind. Maybe then we would understand. Maybe then we could say the right things or help change whatever it is that makes a person feel so low.
We are not alone in the world. There is always somebody. I encourage people to seek help and to be positive. Surround yourself with good people and if you can’t talk to someone you love then seek help online or through hotlines.
Rest in peace. x